To my son.

My little boy,

My time being pregnant with you is coming to a quick close. Though I would be lying if I told you it's been easy, I would do it all over again. I know that in a few short weeks, you and I will physically separate and I won't be your bubble or your shield anymore. For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be your mommy. I've always known it would be the most wonderful feeling in the world to know that you're coming soon to our family, I just never imagined that I would feel this much love. I haven't even seen you or held you yet, but I've never loved something so much.

Every single time you move, I get a smile on my face. It never gets old. When you kick me in the ribs, when you hiccup as I am about to fall asleep. I can't help but laugh and then smile because it means that you are alive and well.

When I found out that I was pregnant with you, I rushed off to tell Daddy. I couldn't contain my excitement. I've loved watching him grow as a man because he loves you already. When he works so hard every day and then comes home and puts up your crib and paints your nursery. When he wakes up in the morning or before he goes to bed at night and kisses my tummy and tells you he loves you. When he tells me that I am beautiful despite my clothes not fitting and if I say that I am "fat", he says, "no you're pregnant and that is what happens to pregnant people." When he gives me blessings when I am sick or overwhelmed. He is the best partner I can ask for and you have a wonderful father. You are definitely coming into a home and a family who want you and who love you beyond belief.

What have I learned from being pregnant? Well it's no walk in the park. I think women are amazing and I've come to realize what a miracle my body is. Everything, and I mean everything changes. My taste buds, my bones move to make room for you, my skin stretches, I can't breathe because you're smashing my lungs, EVERYTHING. We throw up for weeks, sometimes other complications happen that could be life threatening, and it's undesirable and scary. But each time I hear your heart beat or see your little face on the ultrasound machine, I would do it all one thousand times over again. I don't think there was a single time I heard your heart beat and I didn't tear up. I KNOW there wasn't a time I saw you and did not cry. It's a good thing mommy has a female doctor who understands such emotions.

Mostly what has changed is that almost every waking thought mommy has is centered on you. Need to eat because baby is hungry. Don't eat that because he doesn't like it. Eat sherbet ice cream or chocolate so that I can make him move and know he is okay. Don't say or do that, because you need to be a good example for your son. I've thought long and hard since day one on how I want to birth you, how I want you to be fed once you are born, how I can protect you from getting sick once you are. People flat out sometimes tell me I am crazy, but I am your mommy and I will always want what is best for you despite other opinions.

I can't wait to hold you and snuggle you and kiss your little face. I can't wait to watch you grow, though I want you to take your time so I can savor every moment. Know always that mommy and daddy want the best for you and want to protect you. Most importantly, we want to teach you what is right from wrong so that you always have the help of your Father in Heaven. He can do for you what Daddy and I cannot.

So I guess mostly, what I have learned from being pregnant is just a smidge of the love that Heavenly Father must have for me. And all of his children for that matter. I've learned the lengths that He would go to do the best for his children because it's what I would already do for you. I love you more than you will ever know. I will see you soon little guy.

Love,
Mommy

Work, Hobbies and Callings!

As you can tell by my lack of blog posts lately, Tannin and I have been super duper busy. Tannin finished off the semester at BYU with stellar grades and we got to enjoy our last few days in Provo with friends before moving back to New Mexico for the summer.

The night before we left, we got to eat dinner with some of our dearest friends and we got to visit with our "family" in Utah. We are overly grateful for the people that we met in our ward and for how blessed our lives became because of them.

When we got all of our stuff in the U-haul, I got choked up and started to cry. When goodbyes are hard, that's how you know your life is blessed beyond what you deserve.

Our good friends, the Kwarms and the cutest kids ever. 

I love my friend Venna Dee. She has touched my life in such a short amount of time. 

Us in front of our first home as a married couple. 

The Stewards. We cannot say enough good about these two people. They have served their Heavenly Father with all of their hearts and are still blessing lives. We love you!

Gigi. Ang aking Filipina na kaibigan. Mamimiss kita. 

Keri and baby girl Roxy. Our husbands thought we were pretty pathetic saying goodbye to each other, since it's only a few months. We have separation anxiety. 

The Romine's, the Steward's, the Kwarm's, Gigi,  and sweet Venna Dee are just the beginning of the blessings we had in Provo last semester. We are excited to get back.

But for now...

We're back in Grants and are blessed to have both families near. Business is doing well and we're both working hard every single day. Today we both got called to be ward missionaries and I got called to be our ward Girl's Camp director! We're going to be busy. When we got set apart, the blessings were so powerful and both Tannin and I were promised that we would both be able to feel the spirit we felt as missionaries return to us as we did well in our service as ward missionaries. I got so choked up! That's something that is a struggle as an RM, because life takes over and you can't possibly give 100 percent of your time to missionary work. As a result, the spirit you used to feel on the mission isn't as powerful. But being promised that that spirit would return was so exciting to us! We came home and studied Preach My Gospel as a couple!

Part of our lives has been developing new talents together and as individuals.

First of all, I have started to sew. I LOVE SEWING. Let me tell ya. If I could sew all day, I would. I took beginner's lessons in Provo, but it just so happens that my mother-in-law is one heck of a seamstress so she's been helping me out, but I'm getting a lot more confident on my own. This is a skirt I just made last week. It has pockets!

Tannin and I tried for the first few months to find a hobby together. We went to a trampoline park. He loved it. We exercised. I loved it. We also tried golf, bike riding, and who knows what else. But one day we decided we both loved taking pictures. So we have a lot of fun learning about our new camera and just driving around to find new spots to take pictures. We've put a lot of money and time into learning about it. We're definitely newbies, but we'd love to take pictures of everyone and anyone as we start out!

Here are some shots I've taken and edited.

As I say in every post, our lives are extremely blessed. I remember before going on my mission, I was offered a scholarship to a university that I greatly wanted to attend for graduate school. That was my dream. But I had felt that the Lord wanted me to serve a mission. My plan and His plan were on two different tracks. When deciding what to do, I was fasting and praying. I found my mission call and began to read. In the call letter it states, "The Lord will reward you for the goodness of your life. Greater blessings and more happiness that you have yet experienced await you as you humbly and prayerfully serve the Lord in this labor of love among His children."

Because I read that, I knew what I had to do. I gave my own desires up to serve the Lord to whom I had owed everything. My husband also served, which means the same promised was given to him. I testify that that very promise has come true and is still coming true every single day.

You don't have to wear the name tag to be blessed. Just serve with love. No, our life isn't without trial and hardship, but the blessings definitely outweigh!

Thanks for catching up with us!

Ciara

Reunited and It Feels So Good.

Tannin and I had the best weekend we've had since we've been married this past weekend. It was busy and it threw us off our "sleeping schedule" a bit, but it was definitely worth the slight fatigue! (You're probably thinking how lame we are for waking and going to sleep at the same time nightly at age 23 but it's actually great!) 

On Friday we were able to both attend our mission reunions. We had been planning on attending mine for weeks, but Tannin didn't seem sure when his was or what would be going on. Mine was in Lehi and during it, we found out that Tannin's was just a few blocks down the street. The situation couldn't have been more convenient, so we got to go to both!

This is how I feel about mission reunions!

The Angeles Mission reunion was like coming home after a long day. Seeing President and Sister Martino never gets old and it was a spiritual treat to be instructed and counseled by your previous mission president again. Seeing all of the missionaries I served with previously was the cherry on top. It really feels like you're all bonded together for eternity in one big family. You'd do anything for those you served with and struggle with. It was the happiest feeling.

President Martino shared with us a series of Bible Videos that the Church produced about the Savior's relationship with Peter. We talked about how we can relate to Peter. Like Peter, we know that our mission calls are not temporary, but forever and like Peter, we are to "feed His sheep", even now.

You can watch the videos here.  

When we got to Tannin's reunion, I was finally able to meet his mission president, President Wilkey and his wife. It was a great privilege to be in their presence as well and to be instructed by them. They are a wonderful example of a happy and eternal marriage, and hope, faith and endurance in the world we live in today.  

We were able to talk about habits that we developed on the mission and that we should strive to develop again today; everything that we learned can help us now and as President Martino said, "your mission was just the training for real life."

A lump swelled up in my throat as we sat in the chapel and we sang "Called to Serve" and I could belt it out with my husband, knowing every word and knowing I could feel what he was feeling. It's a special feeling. 

We are so grateful for the Wilkey's, Martino's and the Clark's .

Tannin's brothers, father and nephew came up to visit and go to the priesthood session this weekend since it was general conference. It was a "boys trip" so I didn't get to see my mother-in-law or sisters-in-law, but it was just nice to see family! 

What a good lookin' bunch of trouble!

While the boys were off raising havoc, I got to spend time with my dear friend Carol. We were roommates in Las Cruces and it was nice to see her and catch up. We walked around temple square and enjoyed a nice dinner.

That's a whole lotta Joseph!

I am grateful for the PROPHET Joseph Smith. I know he was called to be an instrument in God's hands. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we do not worship Joseph Smith, but are grateful that he was called the Lord's prophet to bring the world it's truth so that I could come to know my Savior Jesus Christ. 

Every April and October God's prophets speak to the world through inspiration to council and guide us in the Latter-day Saint General Conference. You can listen to the Lord's prophet at www.lds.org. I encourage everyone to do so. I know Thomas S. Monson is God's living prophet today and just like Moses, Noah and Adam once did, he receives instruction from God for all of us today. 

What does this mean for me and all of you? Because God speaks to prophets today, we can be with our loved ones even after death. There is no "until death do us part in God's plan". We can all be married for time and all eternity in God's temples. I am grateful for this because forever is not long enough with this guy!

The new Provo temple is well on it's way to being finished!

He makes me laugh daily, and makes me strive to become better in all aspects of life though his encouragement and example. Marrying him for time and all eternity was the best choice I've ever made.

And while I'm bragging on my hubby...

Snuck this snapshot. I do that a lot if I'm swooning over him. Ha

I am just grateful that he's willing to do the essential things with me, like read our scriptures together and talk about serious stuff among all the laughs.  A "ninja" does have to take time to be serious after all.

"Hey babe. Take a pic of my shadow when I do a ninja kick! Betcha didn't know you married a ninja!" Dork. 

Thanks for "catchin' up with us"! 

xoxo,

Ciara

Spring Has Sprung: babies, smiles and sunshine!

Tannin and I have really loved being in Provo. We thought coming up here that it would just be cold the whole time, but it's only snowed once since the day we got it. I guess we brought the New Mexico warmth with us and Provo has given us a ton of warmth in our hearts and happy memories.

We've made a lot of friends in our ward and through school and it's so much fun to have a lot of young married couples who are starting their families just like we are. Tannin's schedule has been jam packed with school and I've been keeping busy with temple work, going out with the sister missionaries, sewing lessons, ZUMBA (my love) and catching up with a lot of dear friends from the mission.

On March 12, 2015 my best friend Keri, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Roxy Melisa. Cameron shot me a text once her water broke and I went to the hospital as soon as I could. I waited a long time, but so excited when she finally came. Keri handled it like a true champ and I am so happy for her and Cameron. Congratulations guys!

When she was in Keri's tummy, I'd speak to her in Tagalog, so my first words to her were "mahal kita pamangkin" ("I love you, niece"). Love that little Roxstar.

Since then, Keri has made an amazing mother and is recovering well. I finally got to see her and we had a girls night with her sister Shelbi and our friend Kaity. It takes us years to finally all get together, but when we do, we laugh 'til we cry.

Typical Shelbs.

My favorite day of the year happened on March 20th! My hubby's birthday. He knew a few days before that I was up to something and he was like, "Don't feel the need to celebrate my birthday, it's just a day." He didn't grow up used to having big birthday celebrations, but I did, so I brought a little tradition in to his life. I had more fun spoiling him all day, than he had I am sure. Part of his celebration, we got to eat at Tucano's because he'd been wanting to try it. Let's just say he loved it, but we basically had to waddle out and come home and lay down for an hour until it digested.

Looks like baby boy tapped out!

Since it's  been warmer, I got to cross hiking The Y off of my Utah bucket list! Pretty steep, so we got some good booty workouts and we enjoyed the view!

We got the blessing of attending Nina Toleafoa's homecoming last Sunday. She and I went in to the MTC together in the Philippines and both served in Angeles Mission. There were many times I'd end up on her bed or she on mine and we'd talk and laugh and cry. So thankful for this lady. The hospitality of her family and ward was amazing and a huge BONUS was that we got to see the Martino's. They're so involved in all of our lives and it's amazing. 

Spring is off to a good start with us Cash's. With new babies, tons of family birthdays and spending time with the best people on earth. We are so blessed. The greatest gift that our Heavenly Father has given us is each other. How are you welcoming spring? 

Mr. and Mrs. Cash.

Well. We finally did it! Tannin and I are finally married. We're (the newest) Mr. and Mrs. Cash. We planned on being married in March in the Manti temple, but we decided it was best for us to be married on December 26 and just get married in the Albuquerque temple in New Mexico because all of our family was there and we could be married before Tannin had to go back to school in Utah. 

We both still say ALL the time that it was the best decision that we ever made and we are both grateful for the Spirit's guidance.

SO details about the BIG day....

One, the dress.....

Honestly, it was used. I bought it on KSL (basically the Craig's List of Utah). It was a dress from Beautifully Modest and was almost a thousand dollar dress, but because it was used, it was way cheaper! It wasn't my size, but I have an incredibly talented mother-in-law who was going to alter it. Come to find out, it fit PERFECTLY because the girl who previously owned it had it altered. We thought that was another amazing sign how perfectly things just "worked out". 

Because of the changed date, we planned a wedding in ten days and I didn't get the normal experience of going shopping for dresses and trying a bunch on, BUT I loved my dress and I wouldn't change it. It was beautiful and I did feel like a Princess when the day came. My mom and I just found a cheap veil from JoAnn fabrics and it served it's purpose!

THE CAKE: made by the talented Jacque Jones (mom). She is a champ to just whip out a wedding cake with such little time. I'm always amazed at her gifts and hard work. 

Did we shove the cake in each other's face?

No. We were pretty nice about it.

The Sealing:

We were so blessed to have all of our family and a lot of dear friends be able to attend our sealing at the temple. Including my amazing Mission President and his wife, President and Sister Martino! They're some busy, busy people but I appreciated them attending more than they know!

And this is the whole crew that came! Yes, we have big families!

So here are some of my favorite pictures of me and Tannin. PS it was FREEZING, which is why our noses are pink!

This was us walking out of the temple. We were all smiles like, "Wow. Finally"

The Reception: It was right afterwards in Grants at our meetinghouse there. A sister in our ward did the decorations and did an amazing job! We thought it was beautiful. 

All the single ladies trying to catch the bouquet. 

First Dance. 

Here's all of our beautiful family and guests:

 

We had a blast and wouldn't change anything about our day. 

I am so grateful that I can say that I know I married the right person, in the right place, at the right time. I am grateful for this counsel of the living prophets. They tell us that if the Lord brings two worthy people together, those two people love each other and receive spiritual witness and you marry in the temple, it's the right one and the right time.

I saw the Lord's hand bring Tannin and I together in His perfect way and timing. We receive confirmation of that every day. We know that no matter what life brings, as we keep our covenants that we made with the Lord and with each other, we will be together forever. I know this gift is from God and is worth the price paid. With that I'll share a quote for all of my cousins, nieces, nephews, family and friends out there about temple marriage: 

This quote is by President Ezra Taft Benson. I encourage all to qualify for the temple so that you and your families, present and future, will be blessed beyond imagination. I am so grateful I made up my mind at the age of 16 that I would marry in the temple and I stayed focused on that goal. It's worth it and available to all. 

One more pic! :)

Okay, TWO.

We love ya! Thanks for reading.

xoxo,

Ciara Cash